The Viewmaster Life

The Viewmaster: A Brief Thought on Sin Cycles

For me, sinning is like clicking through the images in a Viewmaster with images of Jesus and temptation alternating in the interchangeable ferris wheels. I pick up one and put it in the viewer. In the first image, life seems pretty good. It’s a normal day, I’m showered, I head to work, I talk gently to my wife. Click, next slide. Life goes lagging; I’m tired with too much to do. So, I pick up smoking. Click. Jesus comes, wooing me into his sweet company and life. But like a kid eager to zip through the magazine, I click again. The checking account bounces; I freak out. Click. Jesus comes. Click. Balancing work, marriage, and home ownership requires more than I can give; I drink more. Click. Jesus shows me how much more deeply dependable he is. (Sometimes it feels like I just have sin ferris wheels with no Jesus mixed in for the respite. Except I know that’s not true. He’s there, a faint double exposure.)

I am sitting my friend Matthew on his porch on Douglas, and we’re talking about life. A city bus passes by. I’m telling him about my cyclical medications, my small sociable addictions that find their way into my life. He says to me with a sarcastic lilt, “Oh yeah, Bryan, you’re the only one who does that.” He’s such a jerk, but right, and a good friend for saying it. There’s no sin committed that the world is not accustomed to, and Jesus knows me.

I know my sinfulness is not unique. So far as I’ve read, there’s only one person who gets immunity. But it’s that I can’t kick the habit. Not any one habit, just the habit of coming back to sin like a sad co-dependent relationship, the kind that all your friends know is bad for you, pity you, and love you anyway. When life goes stressful, it’s like I want to outdo it. I want to poor accelerant on the circumstances.

I've concluded that the inability to leave sin is the root of sin. It is the compulsion to lean on earthly things at the expense of our friendship with God. The joy and hope of the Christian life is God’s commitment to help me switch out the sin slides for holy ones more and more, incrementally, over a lifetime.