Lift with your legs, not with your back (leadership principles from Two Men and a Truck)

Recently I spent my entire birthday helping my parents move. It was an immense pleasure lifting heavy boxes, loading crates, and hoisting all-wood furniture while regressing to parent/child roles that made me feel like a thirteen year old caught smoking past curfew. Please don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t upset to work on my birthday. But the day was physically and relationally exhausting, much more than it should’ve been.

Because my dad hurt himself lately, it was just me and another guy doing all the heavy lifting. Somewhere between the armoire and sectional couch, it occurred to me that the root cause for the day’s drain was not a lack of energy or manpower but poor leadership. There were too many people with too many (uninformed) opinions, too many bickerings with not enough teamwork. The end result was ill-used space, disgruntled volunteers, and a day that lasted hours longer than needed.

What follows are some leadership principles I wished had been a part of the day. I’m certain they could’ve saved some heartache and maybe even made it fun.

Know Who’s Leading

Whether it’s kids building a tree house or a business striving to lead the industry, an enterprise needs a leader. It may seem too simple to even state. But let me tell you, when you’ve waited forty-five minutes for three people to figure out where the lawn chair goes, you understand that having a person in charge is far better than wasted time, energy, and enthusiasm, which all inevitably slip away when any operation stalls.

My dad was the heir apparent to the leadership role. It was his stuff, and he had the vested interest in its well being. But rather than leading the team, making sound and succinct decisions and keeping up morale and energy, he resigned his role the first time someone voiced a contrasting opinion. The result was fuzzy leadership-by-committee.

When you see a leadership vacuum, and you sense a tug to bring order to the chaos or direction to the confusion, step up. The most important part of leading is establishing that there’s a leader.

Get Aligned

Once said leader has emerged, everyone involved needs to agree that 1) there is a leader and that 2) the leader knows what he or she is doing and 3) everyone will do what the leader decides, even if it’s not what each individual might’ve done.

When we started loading the PODs, we discovered my parents had never moved an entire house. They didn’t have the right experience to lead. If they wanted the best results, they could have passed the authority to the most capable person. But that never happened. The result was a sporadic, edgy day without well delegated tasks or clear measures of progress.

Keep Balance Between the Ideal and the Realistic

My parents “ideal move” preserves every item like it's the Rosetta stone. Because their expectations were a little unrealistic, you could see anxiety swell as they imagined the banging and clanging grandma’s heirloom pie safe would endure if not ridiculously mummified. Rather than alleviating stress with a better packing strategy, they employed more blankets, towels, and cushions to fill the unused pockets of space.

Leaders should allow the room for failure. Great plans will never yield flawless results. For my parents, had they allowed the possibility that some of their stuff may get damaged—and been genuinely at peace with it—they could have overlaid the move with a sense of calm and confidence. Instead we got anxiety and a general sense that our every step was a potential threat to the stuff.

A good leader knows how to set realistic goals and understands that the collective abilities the team have a greater chance at getting good results than one person alone. Even more, a good leader knows that the end result is only great if it lifts the people striving for it. That day, it was only furniture that got lifted.

Love Well

Hours of heavy lifting on a hot June day won’t yield happy, lighthearted humans. Nerves will be short, words sharp. When the going gets tough, you have to decide to love the people around you. It’s likely you’ll say things you don’t mean and do things that you shouldn’t. During trials and challenges, having a big heart full of patience and perspective will keep you at bay when want to “accidentally” drop the Bowflex on someone’s toe.

Practice Humble Self-Awareness

Are you edgy? Sarcastic? Judgmental? Self-absorbed? Is there something about you that you know is less-than-perfect? (There is about me, for sure.) When the going gets tough, that less savory part of you is likely the first thing to rear its nasty head. Understand the triggers and symptoms that let you know your Dr. Jekyll has arrived. Then do what you can to neutralize it. Confess to others you’re frustrated. Admit and acknowledge your weaknesses. Take a break. Pray. Performance and morale will last longer if you’re able to identify your inner monsters and keep them at bay.

Lastly, Lift with Your Legs, Not Your Back

This isn’t leadership advice, just a tip for anyone moving. If you throw out your back you won’t be able to lift your relatives’ stuff for hours and hours. And you’ll miss the opportunity to plod through a leaderless haze laced with frustration. If you’re not in tip-top condition, you might also miss your opportunity to fill a leadership gap.